ThrivingTwogether

No D?

Carlos Boozer was known as an outstanding offensive player. He was also known as a very weak defensive player.

During his career he played for the Cavs, Jazz and Lakers before retiring last year. 

His coach  often benched him during important times so he wouldn't allow opposing teams to score.

He usually missed the best part of games, the end of game.

With money, as in basketball, defense matters.

Offense:

Generally incomes rise with experience and education.

Thus you can expect to earn more as you acquire industry-specific knowledge and apply it to your profession.

Defense:

Outstanding financial stewards plug leaks, they play defense with intensity.

When spouses don't play defense, they often miss out on family time by virtue of divorce or overwork.

They know that financial death can happen from a thousand cuts or from ignorance or from deception.

Tight defense involves tracking expenses, numbering expenses, competing (with yourself) to reduce and prevent expenses and eliminating current expenses.

Don't be left out of the most important part of your family's life because of poor defense.

(Photo courtesy Pacoperez6) (Original blog form 2013 was entitled No Defense) 

T-Mobile Tuesdays

First find your passions. Melissa and I love food and travel. 

Second discover ways to get your passions for free or reduced prices.

Melissa and I followed that formula last Tuesday. 

We downloaded the T-Mobile Tuesday app on each of our phones.

Then we cashed in 3 free Dominoes pizza offers, 3 Vudu video offers and  got some free T-Mobile stock.

Total cost for three medium pizzas and a Zootopia video? Zero.

 The stock was free and hopefully will appreciate.

Frugality is living abundantly for little or no money.

What do you love to do/have/be? How can you get it for less?  

 

(Photo courtesy Mtaylor848)

 

Two Prong

Melissa and I ran into a long-time, younger friend a few days ago while grocery shopping.

He told us he is headed to Japan for a fifth time! He doesn't make much money, but he enjoys life.

We also know he is saving for his retirement (still several years away).

He is a two prong person, enjoying life and preparing for the future. 

Whenever we talk to him, we thrill to see how he enjoys life now while preparing for the future.

Are you more a one prong or two prong person? 

 

$5,000 Extensions

A well-dressed, fashionable lady told me about one of her friends.

Her friend spends $5,000 for hair extensions!

What would you do with an extra $5,000?

Do you ever waste money on extravagant living? 

Name your favorite wasteful luxury and see if you can get it for less.

Or do without. 

(Photo courtesy JD Public)

Your Next Move

 

An overweight person may focus on toning calf muscles or she may focus on toning biceps. But for best results ab toning typically makes the greatest visual impact.

Same goes for Chess. You can choose to move one of several pieces, but what is the best one to move next? What move will offer the greatest return on investment (ROI)?

With hundreds of frugal choices to choose from, which choice offers the best ROI for you?

(Photo courtesy Alan Light)

An overweight person may focus on toning calf muscles or she may focus on toning biceps. But for best results ab toning typically makes the greatest visual impact.

Same goes for Chess. You can choose to move one of several pieces, but what is the best one to move next? What move will offer the greatest return on investment (ROI)?

With hundreds of frugal choices to choose from, which choice offers the best ROI for you?

Dabble, Dabble, Deliberate, Decide, Do

A year ago Melissa and I learned about a Solar panel company.

We met with a few salespersons about getting some panels installed, read some reviews and then decided to wait a few months.

We eventually studied more about the company and even reviewed a few other companies.

Then we decided to accept their offer of a $1,000 end-of-year-sign-up bonus. 

Just a few weeks ago the panels were installed and we received our $1,000.

Nearly 365 days of dabbling, deliberation and finally a decision. 

Now it's done.

The alternatives?

Do and then deliberate. That's called buyer's remorse.

Dabble, Dabble, and dabble some more. That's called indecision. 

Never do. That's called dreaming. 

Bargains are found by dabbling, deliberating, deciding and doing. 

 

Our New Baby

Well we don't really have a new baby, but our new-to-us Toyota Sequoia is here!

And Melissa loves it. And I love it too, especially because we paid 1/4 of what it would cost new.

Over seven months ago Melissa and I began to discuss replacing our vehicle as we needed to replace our Honda Odyssey (227,000 miles and a slipping transmission).

We looked at Honda Pilots, Toyota Highlanders, GMC Yukons, and a few other larger  SUVs.

We checked Edmonds, Consumer Reports and we talked with several friends and relatives to discover what would be best for our family.

We realized certain SUV's weren't very roomy or lacked a comfortable third row. And we learned what years were poor for each brand.

We discovered core values for Melissa (roominess, heated seats) and core values for Ryan (fast, 4x4, sun-roof). 

Then when we bought it, we rejoiced in having made a united, allied decision.

Key Principles:

1. Take your time even when a problem seems urgent (slipping transmission anyone?)
2. Unitedly discuss decisions
3. Explore alternatives with a reckless abandon
4. Scientifically scrutinize your preliminary findings

 

(Photo courtesy Wikipedia-our Sequoia is a little older, but similar color and design)

 

 

 

Thoughts For Thriving Together

A friend fixed his wife's car. It took him eight hours, but prevented them from spending several hundred dollars at the repair shop. 

The best part is, he expressed his love by investing time into her concerns.

With that in mind, let me ask some questions to enhance and ignite your relationship.

 

Is this conversation crucial? 

Did I choose convenience or commitment when I get married?

Am I willing to work on myself to ensure a better relationship?

Do I need more money or more control of my money? 

Does my money tell me what to do or do I tell my money where to go?

Is my marriage like a microwave or a crockpot?

How many date nights should a thriving couple have?

What are my top priorities?

Are children more important than my spouse?

Who do I need to become to be trusted?

Do I regularly practice forgiveness?

Do I lack time? Or do I need to prioritize? 

 

 

"I hate it when rich people shop at [a thrift store]"

Two guys (let's call them Curly and Moe) complained about "stupid rich people" shopping at thrift stores. 

Another man I've known for a year  (let's call him Lincoln) interrupted them and suggested maybe the rich people were rich because they shopped for bargains at thrift stores.

Curly and Moe thought about that, but then decided rich people should buy retail.

Curly and Moe have no assets other than vehicles. No home, no savings. They make little and spend much (lunches, soda, vehicles, clothes, etc)

Lincoln has a net worth upwards of $200,000 and is very frugal. His household earns more than 3x the national average and yet he loves deals, bargains and people more than appearances.

Don't be like Curly and Moe. Think better. Be like Lincoln.

 

 

 

 

 

Related articles

Now that's thrifty

Mercedes Man

My Dad exemplifies thrift. He finds ways to inexpensively attain abundance. 

He was taught by my grandparents to search for bargains (excellent products and services at rock-bottom prices).

So in the early days of his marriage he attained one of his dreams: he bought an inexpensive, used Mercedes.

Although his income was modest as a chemical mixer for Kodak, he made his dream happen.

To paraphrase George Bernard Shaw , "You see things; and you say 'Why?' But [my Dad] dream[s] things that never were; and...say[s] 'Why not?'

 

 

The Best

The former Utah Supreme Court Justice Dallin H. Oaks  explained that many decisions are not merely between good and bad.

Our decisions are often between good, better and best. 

We typically are not simply good or bad with money.

We make many decisions daily that could be classified as good, but could be better decisions or perhaps even  best decisions if we sharpen our financial intelligence.

Good:  One spouse is frugal and involved in financial planning

Better:  Both spouses are frugal and involved in family  finances

Best: Entire family is frugal and involved in  family finances
---------------------------------------

Good: High school diploma

Better: Trade school/ College degree

Best: Lifelong learning (not to be confused with novels and TV)

-----------------------------------------
Good: Finance retail products at 0%

Better: Pay cash for quality, retail products on sale

Best:  Pay cash for used, quality products 
----------------------------------------

Good: Learning financial wisdom

Better: Applying financial wisdom

Best: Teaching others what you're learning and applying 
-------------------------------------------

What areas are you good but could be better?                                      

The legendary Lakers coach Pat Riley implemented a great way to go from good to best by doing a little better.

His 1986 Lakers had just been beat by the formidable Boston Celtics and he was determined to win the NBA finals the following season.

He encouraged all of his 12 players to improve upon their best by just 1% in the off season.

The combined team gains would be 12- 24% over the previous season.

Most remarkably several members of the team discovered that their "best" could be improved upon by as much as 5%. 

Subsequently the Lakers improved and easily won the NBA Championship.

A really good team got better and serendipitously became the best.

Improve your good decisions so they become better, and your better decisions will eventually become "best" decisions.*

 

(*Originally published in 2012)

 

 

Stacking and waiting

Melissa and I needed some picture frames for our new family pictures from Manhart Photography. 

 

Melissa found a coupon for 40% off at Michaels. We selected some frames but didn't buy. 

 

We waited. 

 

A day later she found a second, stackable coupon for 20% off the 40% off price. 

 

My wife bought $380 of picture frames for about $180!

 

Lessons?

 

Study.

 

Search. 

 

Wait.

 

Buy.

23 Wealthy Words & Phrases

1 Wait

 

2 Timing

 

3 Many options, better choices 

 

4 Counsel (none of us is as smart as all of us)

 

5 Discuss with a spouse 

 

6 Live within your means 

 

7 Expand your means

 

8 Thrift 

 

9 Prudent

 

10 Earn more, spend less 

 

11 We can't afford it...yet

 

12 Is that the best you can do?

 

13 How can I earn more income and work less?

 

14 Frugal not cheap

 

15 High quality, low price

 

16 The best investment is family

 

17 Dream BIG

 

18 Work smart and hard

 

19 Negotiate

 

20 YOLO (and you live forever, so act accordingly) 

 

21 Give

 

22 Grace & Gratitude (you didn't do it alone)

 

23 Teach

 

 

 

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Wait, Google it and buy at a discount

A $50 iPhone

Recently I sold my iPhone 5.

I had bought it off eBay 18 months earlier for $250.

I sold it on KSL for $200.

Then I bought my new-used iPhone 5s for $260.

That comes to about $3-4 per month for an iPhone or $50 for 18 months.

The newest iPhones cost about $22-26 per month ($600-750 over 2 years). But many people don't know that because the cost is included in their monthly payment of $80-100 per line. 

 

 

 

 

 

To the rack

A lady whose income, combined with her husband's, is about $160,000 chooses to shop at Eddie Bauer because she likes the clothes.

But she refuses to pay retail. so what does she do?

She only shops the clearance rack. She heads straight to the rack to find $6 shirts and $10 pants.

Where would you shop if you made $160,000?

Would you pay retail or wholesale?

How much you make is important.

And what you keep is just as important.

High quality, low price is the way to go no matter your income.

If you're going to budget (and you should)

...then budget

-together

-do it quickly

-include income, not just outgo

-tell your money where to go (your priorities must trump your creditors' wants)

-Include fun money

-Invest/spend in and on what matters most (family, house, food, transportation)

Upgrading hardware, lowering usage cost

Melissa and I love to buck inflation.

We don't assume electricity, food, fuel, water, and clothing costs must rise with time.

We gladly pay one fixed, current cost to lower continuous, future costs.

One trick we employ to lower costs is to upgrade our appliances ( when they die) with energy efficient models.

Case in point: our 14 year old Maytag was new to us in 2008. We paid $200 and over seven years we washed close to 1,000 loads of laundry.

When it recently died (and the repair was too pricy and time consuming), we bought a very efficient newer washer.

Our LG uses 1/6 as much water as our old Maytag and will cut electricity consumption from 180 minutes to 150 per week.

Our LG is the highest rated manufacturer (for front-loader washers according to Consumer Reports) with nearly 50% more space for clothes, no agitator to hurt clothes and great looks.

Go for high quality, time-minimizing and lower ongoing costs in your hardware purchases and you will create freedom due to your frugal choices.

Not the whole pay check

A man spends $12,000 a year on food although his income is average.

That's $12,000 for one person!

For 17 years my wife has bought food for our family of six for much less than he spends.

Occasionally I go with her to buy food.

This is what I've learned in shopping with my wife for a family of six.

-Don't buy food every day. Buy food once every two weeks or maybe even once a month.

(You may need occasional visits for fresh fruits and vegetables.)

- Don't go cheap on food: get food that will grow your body, heal your body and give your body strength.

-Eat fresh.

-Eat green.

-Eat often: 4-6 mini-meals a day.

-Set a budget.

-Plan your meals for the next 2 to 4 weeks.

-Make a little extra dinner for the next days' lunch.

No need to spend your entire paycheck on food. Eat to live, not live to eat.

A broken Bosch

How much would you pay to fix a Bosch dishwasher?

A good friend of mine was quoted $250 for a repair.

He decided to Google the solution and found out he could fix it for $2.50.

He did.

High quality. Low price. That's frugal and that creates freedom from debt.

Empty glass? Refill it

I LOVE paying less to get more.

A few weeks ago my car was totaled by two people who fled the scene as I sat in my trashed car on the side of I-15.

It seemed like my glass was empty for a few days.

Then, I replaced my car with a 50 MPG Toyota Prius. It has navigation, touch screen controls, a back-up camera, a gorgeous interior and a surprising amount of pep.

Melissa and I bought it used (2007) for a fraction of the new cost.

Best part? I save $720 a year on fuel costs. All because my old car was wrecked!

Occasionally the glass is empty. Just refill it and move on.

Now that's thrifty

I talked to a lady today from Arizona who decided she wanted an entire brand-new wardrobe.

So she took all of her clothes from her closet down to the thrift store. She then used a thrift store credit to get all new (used) clothes.

Perhaps the best part is because she lives in a very prestigious area, her new (used) clothes were gorgeous. Some clothes even had tags still on them.

Now that is thrifty and soon she's going to be free!

Newly married and old-school wise

A young newlywed couple taught me the value of being thrifty.

I talked with them in Florida and found out they had the exact same type of rental car I did.

Whereas I paid $22 a day for my rental car, they paid $13 at Fox Car Rental.

I had compared prices with Hertz, $35 a day, and felt good with my $22 a day Firefly decision.

I should've checked three companies instead of two.

A Stetson, a ranch and some cattle

My dad wishes he had been a rancher. He grew up on a Utah farm, spent two years in Texas and currently lives in Florida. But for one 25 year stretch he worked in New York doing work he abhorred and spending too much time away from home.

In Texas there is a saying about pretentious people: big hat, no cattle.

My dad isn't pretentious. He has a big Stetson cowboy hat AND the cattle. His "cattle" are debt-free vehicles and a debt-free house.

Recently I helped a couple (from Texas) who had a "big hat but no cattle": Nice financed vehicles, a large rent payment on a prestigious home and multiple credit cards with outstanding balances.

They're getting better though. They're paying down debt.

How about you?

A big hat and no cattle?

A big hat and much cattle?

My advice is to get the ranch, the Stetson hat and the cattle....in cash. And do it now.

He's famous and he won a car

Last night my wife and I met Dave. And he helped us meet two well known radio personalities in Utah, Todd and Erin.

Dave is from Salt Lake City and he decided to work at winning radio contests.

In the last twelve months he's won two iPads and a new Subaru. And concert tickets. And food.

The cost? He spends several hours each week studying contests and of course he constantly listens to the radio.

He's discovered that hard work, planning and dreaming produce abundance.

Sure luck is involved, but Dave knows that luck is tied to work, planning and dreaming big.

Just drop a zero

A few days ago I mentioned to my 16 old legendary, daughter (she's frugal, brilliant and righteous) that I wanted to buy a used iMac.

She asked how much they usually cost. I said as much as $2,500. She said, "just drop the zero."

Drop the zero and a $2,500 iMac becomes $250!

What experiences could you enjoy if you consistently dropped a zero? What could you buy if you dropped a zero? What could you pay off by dropping a zero?

You can live within your means, pay off debt and pay as you go if you simply drop the zero.

Look for ways to remove a zero. You can live much better at less than half the cost by constantly dropping a zero.

The Asker

Yesterday I blogged about seekers. Today I'll let you know about the Asker.

Melissa constantly teaches me about the power of asking. She is the most curious person I've ever met. She's a perpetual rookie in her humility. And because of her humility she has become very smart.

Last week she called Amazon to ask for $30 of our recent shipping charges to go towards a Prime membership. She asked and the Amazon customer service agent laughingly told her no.

Then Amazon sent a customer survey about her experience. She told them that she wasn't happy with the answer.

Amazon then gave her a $30 gift card!

Melissa asked. Amazon delivered $30!

$600 for a windshield?

Last week shortly before I went out of town on a business trip I had one of those days. One of those days where something unexpected happens threatening to ruin your budget by a few hundred bucks.

I had noticed a couple cracks in my windshield and wanted to get it replaced. Unfortunately because I was heading out of town I had to wait a few days to get it fixed.

The windshield installer told me I would need to get body work done on the top of my car for the windshield to be properly installed. I told him I didn't want to spend a few hundred dollars on the body repairs and to try to replace the windshield without the repairs.

It worked. I didn't have to spend a few hundred dollars to fix some minor body damage . And my comprehensive deductible was zero so my windshield was no cost as well.

Essentially I paid nothing for a potential $600 repair ($209 windshield and $400-700 body work).

Spend different

I was so excited to see that Anthony Robbins published his first book since 1994. So I ordered a copy from my library. Nothing better than a book about money for free right?

I was disappointed.

Anthony Robbins taught about investing by sacrifice. No meat about searching for deals. Give up something's you want, so you can invest for the long term.

That's like saying lose weight by not eating. That works for a few masochists. The better way is to eat differently. To spend differently.

The best way to be financially independent is to buy what you want by getting deals and comparing offers. Buy used. Leverage time and options.

Don't believe those who tell you to do without so you can invest and then someday enjoy family and friends.

Going Pro

Several years ago I overpaid for professional services.

I paid $60 for tax services from a franchised tax company. My taxes were done fast and with little effort to maximize deductions.

That's when I realized that it's possible to overpay for professional services. Some "professionals" charge like pros and work like amateurs.

(Of course you can also spend too much of your TIME on do it yourself projects.)

But do not spend too much money on professional services if the professional is an amateur- or worse, a novice.

Shades

This week's example of over spending comes in the form of a contrast.

I once bought used Oakley sunglasses for $35. I kept them two years before I sold them for $20. I easily afforded the modest purchase.

Last week a person paid $130 (retail, of course) for Under Armour shades. His household income is 10% below the national average and his consumption of luxury sunglasses is 700% higher than what it should be.

Lessons? Live within your means while expanding your means. Pay as you go. Be modest in expenses.

If you buy a $130 luxury good, but it used at 60-80% of retail. And make sure your income justifies such a purchase.

$300 Timberlands

A friend told me today that he bought a pair of $300 Timberland dress shoes for only $80 off of eBay.

He obviously knows about living within his means. His annual income is well over 100k and yet he paid $80 for dress shoes.

He knows about paying as you go, being frugal and thrifty.

My friend has bought many high-end items for 30-40% of retail from eBay and other sources.

A new definition of longevity

On a recent trip to Atlanta I learned from a taxi driver that a Dodge Grand Caravan can go over 480,000 miles. In fact his last Dodge hit 500,000 miles and his current one has 250,000 miles on it.

He changed the oil every two weeks and repairs cosmetic damage immediately.

What does it mean to wear something out? Are vehicles really as old and do they have as many miles as we think they do?

Are clothes really old? How long can an appliance last? Could we use them longer? Do we really wear something out?

Is a house really too old? Or does it need to be fixed up and bettered before moving on to something new?

Before discarding anything, consider wether you're maximizing the value.

Make durable products endure.

Illusionist

Price is an illusion just like magic. The stated price or the sticker price are magical, they're malleable. They're not stagnant or static.

Just recently someone got a Culligan water purifier (retails for thousand) for $50. It was two years old, but works great.

Prices are not what they appear to be.

Another person paid $4200 for a new furnace because they "had to." "Thank- goodness for a home-equity line of credit,"they said.
Just because a furnace goes out, don't run and call the first person to replace your furnace.

Go slow.

Yes it's cold outside but sweaters and heaters exist.

Get your furnace fixed AFTER rationally calling multiple professionals.

Could it be fixed? Can you buy wholesale? What other options are there?

Price is an illusion and you're the master magician. You decide what you'll pay.

Karma at Gardner Village

Several years ago a great friend named Russ invested much of his time and money to help us build a business.

Last weekend Russ needed some help. Melissa and I thought it was best to do all we could to help him.

We donated about $35 bucks and a few hours of our anniversary to help him build a new building for his petting zoo at Gardner Village.

But of course divine karma gave us much more than we could possibly give him.

We received four gift baskets worth about $350. In the gift baskets there was Skullcandy headphones, a six months gym membership, gift cards to eat at Chili's and many more treats.

It feels so good to give! Especially to know that the equation for giving is always heavily skewed towards the giver.

Give and you shall receive.

Lining pockets with Benjamins

Two business owners had two different stories to tell about taxes. One business owner said, "I have to pay a lot of taxes because I own a business."

Another business owner said, I'm glad I have a business-I almost had to pay five grand in taxes before I owned a business. But not anymore. I actually get back five thousand dollars.

Attitudes determine vision. And vision determines results.

Make sure your attitude allows you to be frugal and wise.

Don't fall into a victimization attitude of "I have no choices, there is no hope and this is horrible; life is poor for me!"

You determine your destiny. Things are bad? Go to work. Make something happen.

Sometimes that means all the difference between paying $5000 and getting $5000.

I had to buy a $22,000 car

A new friend of mine told me how he had to take $22,000 out of his retirement account to buy a new car.

Why? Because he 'needed' a new car to replace his old one. Unfortunately that insanity will continue unless he changes his thinking. His wife's car is old and he might need to replace that one as well.

Often we don't need a new car or a new home.

We should get nice things but we need more than new things.

What we need is a new mindset. Change your way of thinking.

When something is old, fix it up where it out or do without.

Or simply upgrade for less money. Expand experiences and lifestyle, contract costs.

Make vehicle buying an asset and income generator or a least a breakeven point. But absolutely don't make buying cars a depreciating liability or a drain on your wallet.

Prosperity and abundance are available for less: less cost, less rushing, less silly decisions.

The money-making Maserati

Several years ago I received an advertisement to test drive a Maserati.

They even promised free Bose headphones if I simply test drove a Maserati.

So one day I went to downtown Salt Lake City to Steve Harris imports to test drive a Maserati. I parked my old beat up Honda at a nearby Sears.

The salesman didn't have time to give me a personal tour of the new car that I was looking at so he threw the keys told me to come back when I was done test driving.

It had a hand-built Ferrari engine and sleek lines and a long beautiful, all black exterior with a beige interior.

I had a difficult time keeping the $110,000 car under 80 miles an hour on the freeway.

After enjoying the testdrive immensely I received my $150 Bose headphones.

And what did I do with my headphones I sold them and used the money to go on dates with my wife.

Free budget review

I've talked to a few people lately who are in troubled marriages and who have money troubles.

I asked them to send me a recent budget with income and outgo. It has been very rewarding to see them happy again as they discover "fixed expenses" are fluid. They have saved a few hundred dollars a month while finding joy in rich relationships.

So if you'd like a FREE budget review, send me your simple budget to [email protected]. All information is confidential.

An undying waffle-maker

Melissa casually mentioned to me that our waffle-maker is over sixteen years old.
We received it for free as a wedding gift.

It makes tasty waffles, is durable and was free.

Frugal people use inexpensive (and often free) durable goods to enhance life.

Loch Ness Monster

Some frugal pundits should be classified as fiction authors. Perhaps their books could be sold right next to the Loch Ness Monster books.

A few days ago I read several myths put forth by an alleged frugal person. He is a single tight-wad, not a happily married, frugal guru with an abundant life-style.

A car should NOT be bought based exclusively or even primarily on gas mileage. A reliable, quality, safe car is vital. Gas mileage is also important, but not vital. Car repairs and death are more expenisive than gas mileage.

Living with in-laws may save money short-term but it just may cause serious marital conflict as interfering parents OFTEN offer unsolicited advice.

Taxes are not to be overlooked since it will invaiably be your top 1 or 2 expenses.

Turning off lights in your house can save you maybe $100 a year. Decreasing TV watching may save you more money. But if your're gonna turn off TV and lights, you might want to read a story about Scrooge and how he lived in a dark, cold house with no TV. Sound familar? Turn on the lights, watch a little TV and enjoy life while living better for less... not cutting out life. Life is about abundant experiences with loved-ones. More joy for less...not simply less for less.

Tightwad misers might be thrifty, but usually they are simply cheap. But frugality is about quality, joy, others.

Your money is your god when your're a tightwad.

Saving money by DIY shavecream? Your time and a happy shaved spouse is a money invested not blown.

A budget is simply YOUR plan to invest money by allocating it to memorable experiences andlife-enhancing products.

Don't simply 'not-spend'. Allocate your money to your dreams. Don't discount your dreams and life-style.

Dream bigger, live better for less.

A car should not be bought based exclusively or even primarily on gas mileage. A reliable, quality, safe car is vital. Gas mileage is also important, but not vital. Car repairs and death are more expenisive than gas mileage.

Living with in-laws may save money short-term but it just may cause serious marital conflict as interfering parents OFTEN offer unsolicited advice.

Taxes are not to be overlooked since it will invaiably be your top 1 or 2 expenses.

Turning off lights in your house can save you maybe $100 a year. Decreasing TV watching may save you more money. But if your're gonna turn off TV and lights, you might want to read a story about Scrooge and how he lived in a dark, cold house with no TV. Sound familar? Turn on the lights, watch a little TV and enjoy life while living better for less... not cutting out life. Life is about abundant experiences with loved-ones. More joy for less...not simply less for less.

Tightwad misers might be thrifty, but usually they are simply cheap. But frugality is about quality, joy, others.
Your money is your god when your're a tightwad.

Saving money by DIY shavecream? Your time and a happy shaved husband is a money invested not blown.

Invest money through by allocating it to memorable experiences, life-enhancing products and etc.

Don't simply not-spend. Allocate your money to your dreams. Don't discount your dreams and life-style. Dream bigger, live better for less.

LeRoy Road dream home

I recently visited with my two best childhood friends, Gene and Tim, on a visit to Palmyra, New York.

Tim and I reminisced about my childhood home. It was built in 1974, the final year of The Brady Bunch.

My parents had it built after buying an investment property. And they built it after planning and buying sufficient land.

They planned my childhood home, bought the land and then built a 2,000 square foot home with a 1,000 foot garage (huge for when it was built in the 1970's).

In the basement we had a used, free pool table. We had a dartboard and two bedrooms that my dad built. Also we had a large storage area for food and water.

In the family room we had built-in book shelfs lined with encyclopedias and several other books. We also had free standing bookshelves with perhaps 300 non-fiction books. That's where I fell in love with business books, religious books and self-help books.

In the third of four levels we had one of two fireplaces and a large kitchen and living room. There in the kitchen my mom was known to secretly "stretch" our milk by adding water.

And in the upstairs section we had three more bedrooms including my room.

The total cost of that house? $30,000.

Throughout the years we added a pool and a paved driveway and many trees. My parents sold it for over $80,000 about 17 years after they had it built. Now it's worth $139,000.

The helpless

The ones who can't help you are the best to help you.

Recently I began looking for salespersons to help grow frugal2free. As I called employment agencies I quickly found out they couldn't help me with my unusual request (no upfront fees and merit-based pay).

But each of the the persons I talked with gave me valuable advice to get closer to my goal. They told me where to post, what other companies to call and what time of the year is best for hiring. They told my about unemployment rates and confirmed some of my assumptions.

Another time a mechanic couldn't replace my muffler but he referred me to a garage that could.

It all served as a reminder that everyone can help. Even those who seem helpless.

It's your outgo, just breathe

It turns out swimming isn't about inspiration; it's about exhaling.

For years I've struggled with breathing while swimming. I've nearly drowned multiple times despite growing up with a huge in-ground pool (mom bought it to replace our garden.)

I read a swimming blog last week that explained the science of swimming: forget inhaling, just concentrate on exhaling. And exhale twice as long as you naturally inhale.

So today I swam my fastest time ever as I focused on exhaling.

And wouldn't you know it, that is how money goes too.

For years I focused on inhaling enough when I should've focused on exhaling.

Maybe you're focusing too much on income (if I only made...)and not enough on outgo.

I've rarely seen anyone get 'enough'money. Even people making $120-300,000 complain of too little income.

Compare less, compare more

Last week I read a blog where a financial pundit told of 'saving thousands' by buying a new $20,000 compact car. He said his expense was less than a friend's high-end car and therefore constituted a great purchase.

Comparison shopping means comparing prices not comparing yourself with others. A deal is only a good deal if it is a good deal. Spending less than others doesn't a good deal make.

Forgot about what your friends buy. Compare prices not people.

Example:

When you buy tires don't seek to outdo your friends or co-workers. Instead, get three of four bids from dealers on multiple tires. Then pick the best one for you.

Will your purchase last?
Does it make you feel good?
Have you searched for the best price?
Is it available used?
What company offers the best quality?
Can you get a better deal by waiting a week? A month? A year?
Do you need it?
Will you use it often?
Can you pay for it in cash?

Scrimping

In order to buy a business in 2006 I sold my Toyota Corolla. It was only worth a few thousand dollars, but it helped in the very rough first months.

I scrimped to build an asset. Other times my family has scrimped to save for a dream vacation.

When the business became an asset, I bought my dream car (Lexus LS400) as a reward for my earlier discipline.

I advocate scrimping only for short spurts. Life is too short to scrimp for years.

And make sure to reward yourself for scrimping.

When they're young

Melissa and I invested in our children's financial intelligence when our first child was a toddler.

We bought Cashflow For Kids, an excellent game for understanding Income Statements and Balance Sheets.

Now our children generate their own income running micro businesses. They speak about money openly and with understanding. To them assets and income are great. Debt and liabilities are worse than homework on the weekend.

First, during, and last

I decided to sell some used possessions today. As I prepared to advertise my old basketball shoes, a used Otter Box, and some other sundries I thought of three elements of an excellent deal.

1. Acqusition Cost: Not the price, but what you pay by patience and research

2. Maintenance cost: Is it durable? Does it need constant upkeep?

3. Capital gain or loss: Can it be resold? For a profit? Does it depreciate rapidly?

My three year old Retro Air Jordan 6 shoes were acquired for about $65 and I intend to sell them nearly three years later for $80 despite heavy use. They cost me nothing to maintain except for laces and some insoles.

On your next purchase look for the initial cost, final gain/loss and the maintenance cost. Compare several choices and then pick the choice that offers the best value.

The Melissa Factor

In 1997 I began to date the lady who would become my wife. Even back then I knew she filled in my gaps. She was a musically inclined, empathetic, listening, prodigy who utterly intimidated me.

A few days ago when I broke my iPhone I called her to see what ideas she had.

She Googled the solution. Next she called a few repair stores to comparison price. Then she searched Amazon and eBay for the best deal on parts.

Total fix? $45. Sure beats $100 at a local repair shop. And it beats buying a new $600 phone or the 2 year contract option of even the used, replacement phone option.

What I learned: Marry up. Ask spouse for help. Listen. Don't panic when something initially looks bad. Hold unto the one you chose.*

(If the decision was right at first, then hold unto it forever. That goes for marriage, family, love, faith, and any other good thing)

It takes work (or drug-dealing)

"That's' not a lot." A man told me cutting expenses by $180 is not enough to go through 5 mintutes of work. "It's a hassle."

I told him, "Let me know if you find another way, other than drug-dealing, to create that much money in 5 minutes of work."

He's right about one point: cutting expenses takes work.

Discussing and projecting future expenses takes work.

Creating a spending and savings allocation takes work.

Thinking of your spouse more than self takes work.

Looking for high-quality, durable, enjoyable experiences, products and services takes work.

Sticking with marriage, children and faith takes work.

It's your choice.

Will you choose work or hassle-free mediocrity?

Twice a year

Can you imagine living so close to work that you only need to fill your commuter-car up with fuel twice a year?

Or can you imagine needing to only fill up your family SUV or mini-van twelve times a year?

A frugal friend told me that those are his family habits. They have two cars, enjoy technology and some fun hobbies, but spend very little on fuel.

He didn't become austere. He became thrifty. Notice he didn't sell his cars and walk everywhere.

Rather he practiced thrift, not excessive elimination of modern conveniences.