The Art Of Peace is an excellent book. What I learned about Aikido applies to relationships too.  

For instance:

A Steady and pure mind avoids attack.

It’s not combat; it’s  unity.

A reformation of heart is needed. 

Avoid attachments to things.

Be flexible like Bamboo.

Criticism weakens.

Be flowing like a willow.

Balance is key.  

Opponent and you become one so no opponent at all.

Unity is vital. 

Don’t focus on enemy (and your spouse is not the enemy). 

Light is wisdom.

It seems like peace is possible and very likely as we ponder and apply these truths.