Use the Force

Use the force. No, use persuasion. It's a common falsehood that forcing people to change will cause them to change. 

The force in Star Wars is a power to influence either for good or bad.The negative force is called coercion. The positive force is persuasion.

Persuasion is the most effective power in helping people change.

Coercion (Negative force) increases pain and agitation in relationships and is manifested by

• silence
• sarcasm
• hiding/ withholding significant information
• historical trolling (fishing for evidences of past mistakes)
• manipulation
• nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging (yes, it's that annoying)

Persuasion (Positive force) enhances teamwork and unity and has the following traits

• kindness
• listening to understand
• discussing
• honesty
• patience
• love

Most want to work harmoniously with their family but often use coercion instead of persuasion.

Want your spouse to help you more? Try persuasion. Try to listen to his/ her needs, try patience, try letting go of your spouse's faults, try helping him/ her with a heavy problem.

Case Study:

A husband prefers watching sports to budgeting. What can be done? You could lecture him about watching too much TV or about needing to clean more. Or you could choose to enjoy (not tolerate) a few sporting games every week with him. Eventually he might be interested in budgeting with you or at least be more open to discussing family matters as he sees your more interested in his life than in nagging and pushing change.

 May the good force (persuasion) be with you!

 

 

(Photo courtesy JMAS)

Comments

[Celine bags]

I really appreciate what you are doing with your blog.

[Ryan]

Thanks.