frugal2free

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”

In our day teachers and solutions are abundant, but desire is sometimes misdirected.

We lack focused desire, not the abundant resources to solve our own problems.

When we really want to learn something we can find a ready teacher and a multiplicity of solutions.

A number of years ago I suffered a torn ACL in my left knee. I couldn't jump or guard opponents on the basketball court. I even had trouble climbing stairs without pain.

After the Orthopedic Surgeon removed 90% of my meniscus I, as a hungry student, asked him how I could prevent further pain and surgeries. He suggested maintaining an optimal weight and increasing my quadriceps strength.

I followed his advice and even asked many people what else I could do. The result? Pain in my knee completely ceased, my quads increased in size by 3 inches, and I actually jumped higher after my surgery than before my surgery.  

 We are all motivated, ready students in given areas.

A man may say he is not good or has no desire to manage his income, but he can recite statistics of his favorite athletes for several seasons. Or another person may memorize and meticulously manage 50-70 fly fishing lures but find it challenging to track expenses or remember to pay creditors.

 When we really need and must have something, then we will find many solutions. Connections, knowledge, action and confidence readily inflow to ready students.

The question isn't where is the teacher? But rather are you really ready to learn?

 

(Photo courtesy Paul Gooddy)

Confusing a job with marriage

A plant is shutting down in my city. Most employees were stunned to learn they will need to start over. They thought they would never see the plant disappear. They thought it was too difficult and time consuming to learn about computers or a new career. "Can't teach an old dog new tricks."  They thought the union would provide job security through retirement.  The employees thought they would never be divorced from their job.

How did they come to believe they would be with one employer forever? They were in denial, delusional. Employers, good and bad, big and small, lay off people daily.

  A job will not last forever, but a marriage should.

Everyday companies lay off or fire employees. Just last week HP announced it is laying off 27,000 people.  The average job in USA lasts 4.4 years.

Our society teaches us to believe a job commitment is eternal when the average job lasts less than 5 years!

Ironically society also teaches us that marriage is a short-term convenience instead of a long-term commitment. The marriage relationship can be the most enduring commitment if nurtured. It seems that many are sowing the seeds of  a short-term marriage and trusting in a long-term job.

Massive depression, anger and frustration are the inevitable result of trusting in total job longevity.

You must prepare for the the inevitable job separation while increasing your marriage unity.  Gain new skills, increase your breadth and depth of knowledge. Invest massive amounts of time in your marriage and studying about lasting marriages. 

Some wonderful friends parlayed their hobby into a career before they had too. Before they lost one income they were working on a totally new career. They also have been strengthening their marriage for many years by spending quality and quantity time together.

Don't confuse your job with a marriage by making your long-term marriage into a short-term gig and by believing your short-term job will last forever.

 

 

(Photo courtesy FreeDigitalImages.net)

 

Prospering by degrees

Quantum or huge improvement is very rewarding and easy to recognize, but very often progress happens slowly and imperceptibly. This slow prospering has been likened unto prospering by degrees. To improve your family money situation you should sometimes focus on quantum progress, but more frequently you should focus on prospering by degrees. 

Blogger Sasha Dichter knows how important prospering by degrees is. He suggests 10% as  a good number for steady, slow improvement on his blog.

Perhaps the best example of this principle is babies. Babies don't tend to change much from day to day, but over time they learn how to eat, walk, and talk because of  little daily progressions. A little improvement adds up to great success.

Find out what degree or percent you should strive for in your quest for prosperity.

• Could you do 1% better today?

• Will others notice the change?

• What area(s) should you change first?

• Does your degree of prosperity need to remain constant? Or could you improve by a 8% one year, 1% the next and 35% the following year? What's best for you?

Babies not only grow and prosper daily but they are full of joy. The same is true for anyone who grows on a daily basis. Daily growers become happy people as a result of prospering by degrees.

 

 

 

(Photo courtesy FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

5% Vision

A couple days ago I heard a man in a meeting say something that made me think deeply.  He said something like this:

Expanding perspective by 5% causes effectiveness to double.

Stepping back to see the big vision for our family compels us to work diligently to make the vision reality.

Expanding our vision causes us to overcome the inertia of proximity to our problems. Oftentimes the closeness of our problems causes us to feel overwhelmed and dejected.

Looking at our problems with a Seuratesque  perspective causes hope to soar. Standing back a little to view art is a lot like life. We see the big beautiful picture by simply expanding our vision.  Similarly looking too closely at a piece of art causes catatonic confusion.

What is your ideal image for your family?

Your finances?

How could you expand your vision?

 

 

 

 

(Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Defense

I grew up in a rural area with few neighbors my age. Additionally my older siblings were often out with friends when I wanted to play sports with them. Those two factors led to me play baseball, basketball, soccer and football by myself during child-hood summers.

Recently, as I reflected on those times, I noticed how often I practiced sports with a focus on offense with no thought of practicing defence. I shot hoops or practiced  dribbling a soccer ball for hours without thinking of the need to stop my opponent. Or I practiced hitting baseballs and tossing a football with absolutely no thought of defence.

Parents often focus primarily on offense too. Earning more money or accumulating more things seems to consume thoughts and actions to the exclusion of defence (paying off debt, preparing for emergencies, un-encumbering, growing emotionally, exercising or taking vitamins).

Parents have a vital responsibility to defend their families from debt, loss of freedom, moral degradation, laziness and any other family destroying entity.

Imagine a soccer game in which your team is missing a goalkeeper. You surely would lose quickly and often.  In sports and in life no amount of offense will win if the defence is lacking.

What threats are currently attacking your family?

What can you do today to better defend your family?

 

 

 

(Photo courtesy Wikipedia)

Rationalization

Rationalization is supplying a logical or rational reason as opposed to the real reason. In other words making excuses instead of taking responsibility for a setback. 

Rationalization is a defence mechanism that prevents people from getting better because they blame other events and people instead of boldly changing their self.

A few common rational lies:

• No one is hiring instead of I need more training or I need to work on my people skills.

• We have to use credit cards for this emergency instead of we neglected to save for a rainy day.

• We really need new windows/siding/car/roof instead of we choose to spend money to numb our pain or enhance our image.

Dr Phil famously asks people "How is that working for you?" as a way to help them avoid rational lies and instead 'get real.' If you think you are an exception and tend not to rationalize, you may be rationalizing.

Nowhere is rationalization more prevalent then in financial discussions.  Check your words over the next few days and see if your are blaming circumstances and people instead of handling money wisely.

 

 

 

(Photo courtesy Ambro)

Crushing the competition

Fierce competitors are known for their winning ways.

Competitors like Lance Armstrong,  Joe Montana, Pete Sampras, and Mia Hamm stirred winning feelings within us as we watched them dominate their sports.

But who did they compete with that made them so successful?

Was it competing with their opponents or themselves that drove them to the pinnacle of their sports?

John Wooden, arguably the greatest college basketball coach, gave us the answer as he described his UCLA team's ability to win 10 National Championships .

"We don't worry about the competition; we worry about ourselves. We
don't go out to try to beat somebody; we go out to play the best we can"

Sure great competitors are driven to beat other individuals and teams, but great competitors are more driven to beat their personal bests.

Same goes for finances. Don't compete with your in-laws or neighbors for the best gadgets, biggest home, or most spoiled children. Rather focus on being better with your money today than you were last week. Strive to get a better deal on your next big or little purchase than last year. Seek to save more this year than ever before. Invest more in your future than you think is possible.

It's easy to compete and win against others in a down market or if we compare ourselves with financial failures, but competing against self is the only constant and rewarding challenge.

 

(Photo courtesy Wikipedia)

Want to catch more fish? Put your line in the water, wait and repeat

I asked a fisherman if he knew where my son could catch fish. He explained that it's difficult know if he'll catch a fish or not, but he is sure to catch more fish by putting his line in the water.

A good fisherman puts his line in the water frequently, daily if possible. My uncle, an avid fisherman, once drove from Florida to New York  stopping to fish whenever he spotted water. He put his fishing line in water often.  Certainly his journey took longer but he caught many fish.

Financially fishing frequently means:

• save daily
• pay as you go daily
• pay down debt daily
• track expenses daily

A good fisherman keeps his line in the water for a very long time. He is patient. I once fished on Lake Ontario in New York from 6 AM until about 2 PM using a depth finder/ fish finder and several fishing poles. My fellow fisherman and I didn't catch a single fish, although several fishing boats around us hauled in fish throughout the day!

Being patient in money management might include the following:

• gradually develop order and systems for your household
• steadily save for a rainy day
• patiently assess problems instead of rashly throwing money at them

Lastly a fisherman tries many different resources-- lakes, rivers, oceans, ponds, streams-- in order to catch a variety of fish.  Fisherman may travel to Alaska to simply try different fishing venues. They vary approaches.

Fiscal variety might look like this:

• save
• invest
• start a business
• expand your skills
• read broadly 
• buy real estate

Frequency, patience, and variability with money are a few key principles of abundance.

In which of these areas are you the strongest? What could you do better? Are you fishing daily?

 

 

(Photo courtesy Keattikorn)

Use the Force

Use the force. No, use persuasion. It's a common falsehood that forcing people to change will cause them to change. 

The force in Star Wars is a power to influence either for good or bad.The negative force is called coercion. The positive force is persuasion.

Persuasion is the most effective power in helping people change.

Coercion (Negative force) increases pain and agitation in relationships and is manifested by

• silence
• sarcasm
• hiding/ withholding significant information
• historical trolling (fishing for evidences of past mistakes)
• manipulation
• nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging (yes, it's that annoying)

Persuasion (Positive force) enhances teamwork and unity and has the following traits

• kindness
• listening to understand
• discussing
• honesty
• patience
• love

Most want to work harmoniously with their family but often use coercion instead of persuasion.

Want your spouse to help you more? Try persuasion. Try to listen to his/ her needs, try patience, try letting go of your spouse's faults, try helping him/ her with a heavy problem.

Case Study:

A husband prefers watching sports to budgeting. What can be done? You could lecture him about watching too much TV or about needing to clean more. Or you could choose to enjoy (not tolerate) a few sporting games every week with him. Eventually he might be interested in budgeting with you or at least be more open to discussing family matters as he sees your more interested in his life than in nagging and pushing change.

 May the good force (persuasion) be with you!

 

 

(Photo courtesy JMAS)

Death By A Thousand Cuts

Death by a thousand cuts is an idiom used to describe financial failure brought on by many apparently harmless actions that taken as a whole cause complete financial demise.

Wants often are the "cuts" that kill our home economy. Any want can become a perceived need if we aren't careful. And once a want becomes a need we spend money on it because we are compelled and even feel entitled. Becacuse wants are endless we subject ourselves to multiple cuts when we fail to control them or treat them like needs.

Examples:

• A soft drink can't sink a budget, but a soft drink each day for a year could bust a budget, especially if each family member duplicates the consumption pattern.

• A 25 cent cigarette is too small to harm any budget, but a pack of cigarettes costs over $1,800 annually.

• Bargains can sink a budget if you buy too many unnecessary things simply because they are on sale, "I had to buy it because it was on sale!" Don't be a person who has a home full of useless "bargains."

• Fast food is rather inexpensive unless you eat fast food often. Fast food 4-5x a week  can cost over $2,500 annually for two people. 

• (Your example here)

At dinner several years ago a lady told the other guests that she shopped at Walmart multiple times every week! She told us that she didn't need anything in particular, but it was fun to shop for the thrill of it. Her husband made a lot of money, but everyone knew he could never make enough to compensate for her shopping habits. She was killing her family with a thousand cuts.

How have you been able to stop some of the "thousand cuts" in your life?

 

(Photo courtesy FreeDigitalPhotos.net)