His family is extremely gifted in sports and some of the most gentle, kind people you could imagine.
It broke my heart to know that his family will be broken apart by divorce. It led me to wonder what I could do to help other families avoid his plight.
I have observed successful and unsuccessful marriages for a number of years.
Unsuccessful marriages seem to have one, two or all three of the 3 d's: deceit, debt, and debauchery.
Deceit, debt and debauchery invariably lead to divorce if not corrected.
Deceit. Withholding information from your family is easy to rationalize, but leads to increasing amounts of deception. Occasionally a spouse might be tempted to conveniently fail to mention a purchase. Or a spouse may conceal a past discretion or perhaps current challenges.
Debt. I once worked with a lady who bought a new SUV for the same dollar amount as her annual salary. With one purchase she increased her odds of a decimated family exponentially. She, in effect, decided to be in financial bondage so she could have the pride of ownership. Her vehicle owned her. And then her job owned her as she tried to pay for her "reliable vehicle." Another friend bought the same type of vehicle (used and reliable) for $25,000 less and drove it for many years.
Debauchery or "indulgence in sensual pleasures; scandalous activities...without inhibition."
This challenge is a symptom of self-absorption.
Men or women who seek to please themselves first harvest an insatiable thirst for more pleasure. When your indulgences come before family then your indulgences control your life.
The likelihood of divorce is closely correlated with increases in debt, deceit and debauchery, but there are ways to eliminate these diseases.
Absolute integrity, abhorrence of debt, and a love of others are some of the best antidotes for the 3 deadly destroyers of marriage.
(Photo courtesy Photostock)