Posted at 05:09 PM | Permalink
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Posted at 10:37 PM | Permalink
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Do you hate your spouse?
Tolerate your spouse?
Appreciate your spouse?
Celebrate your spouse?
Hate and apathy are prevalent is some marriages.
If you choose to appreciate your spouse you'll eventually celebrate your spouse.
(Photo courtesy Yoninah)
As we strive to become better companions, mistakes are inevitable.
Do we see mistakes as a feedback loop?*
Or as an indication that we have failed?
Fragile people see any error/problem as evidence of personal failure.
Unbreakable people never admit mistakes. And eventually they break.
Anitfragile people, according to Nassim Taleb, adjust to any situation.
Antifragile don’t look for perfection. They seek to acclimate themselves , to be pliable to any and all situations.
The anitfragile know and live the Sacndanavian saying “there’s no bad weather, just bad clothing.”
(*Randy Pausch in Last Lecture)
Posted at 07:59 AM | Permalink
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Stack happens everyday.
Prior wrongs or problems accumulate.
Layer upon layer, stacked until we have a huge pile, a tall stack.
Stacking depends upon history. We must remember past ills and brood over them to cause our stack to rise high.
The past ills may be our own or some other person who we dehumanize in order to stack the pile higher.
Stacking up anger, wrongs, disappointments, frustrations, biases, and hate is common.
Eventually the stack topples over causing an eruption of regretful behavior.
Regretful behavior will destroy any family's finances faster than you can say "stack."
Stacking rules out joint-decision making and family-strategizing .
Stacking costs much money in the form of counseling, divorce, suicide, ignorance, and neglect.
Don't stack. (Photo courtesy Master Photo Image)
Posted at 02:13 PM | Permalink
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First find your passions. Melissa and I love food and travel.
Second discover ways to get your passions for free or reduced prices.
Melissa and I followed that formula last Tuesday.
We downloaded the T-Mobile Tuesday app on each of our phones.
Then we cashed in 3 free Dominoes pizza offers, 3 Vudu video offers and got some free T-Mobile stock.
Total cost for three medium pizzas and a Zootopia video? Zero.
The stock was free and hopefully will appreciate.
Frugality is living abundantly for little or no money.
What do you love to do/have/be? How can you get it for less?
(Photo courtesy Mtaylor848)
Today we are proud to announce The Ultimate Marriage Package. It's designed to help soon-to-be-marrieds, long-term marrieds and we-might-get-divorced-if-we-don't-get-help marrieds to become happy and loving.
It's now available on https://www.thrivingtwogether.com/product/the-ulitmate-marriage-package/
Melissa and I ran into a long-time, younger friend a few days ago while grocery shopping.
He told us he is headed to Japan for a fifth time! He doesn't make much money, but he enjoys life.
We also know he is saving for his retirement (still several years away).
He is a two prong person, enjoying life and preparing for the future.
Whenever we talk to him, we thrill to see how he enjoys life now while preparing for the future.
Notre Dame football jerseys are unique.
Each jersey has a number, but no name.
Jerseys without names emphasize team over individual.
Families thrive when the family unit (team) takes precedence over self.
Mothers who tirelessly give to children wear nameless jerseys.
Fathers who play with their children more than with buddies value family over self.
Husbands who eliminate electronics to focus on wives wear nameless jerseys.
(Photo courtesy Michael Fernandes)
Posted at 05:53 PM | Permalink
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Quantum success is exciting. A diet that shreds 20 lbs in a month. The 90-yard punt return. The extreme makeover (emphasis on extreme) or the "overnight successful business."
But massive success doesn't happen independently nor quickly, but rather it is the result of tiny, daily improvements. Jim Collins calls this the flywheel. Many tiny, good efforts over time (think patience) constitute unstoppable success. The Japanese call this incremental improvement, combined with patience, Kaizen. Companies like Toyota and Sony have used Kaizen for years to create incredibly successful products such as the Lexus and the Walkman.
Likewise our small, daily financial decisions can add up to a lifetime of financial success.
For example you want to save for a dream vacation. What should you do?
1. Plan the cost.
2. Search the destination's attractions.
3. Study and brainstorm what inexpensive ways it can be had.
4. Eliminate any spending that doesn't help with your goal.
The quantum change comes when all of your little efforts create enough momentum to get your dream vacation within a few months after setting the goal.
Similarly massive failure happens after many, small changes. This is called dwindling.
Dwindling is similar to Kaizen in that they both embrace slow, small changes. But dwindling means small changes for the worse.
Never underestimate the power of little choices to create quantum success.
For good or bad.
(Photo courtesy Majo statt Senf)
After falling in love with a few of Richard Paul Evans' books, I listened to The Mistletoe Promise.
He carefully crafted a powerful love story illustrating forgiveness, unconditional love, change and hope.
If you want a book that will heal and help your marriage, then read/listen to The Mistletoe Promise.
A well-dressed, fashionable lady told me about one of her friends.
Her friend spends $5,000 for hair extensions!
What would you do with an extra $5,000?
Do you ever waste money on extravagant living?
Name your favorite wasteful luxury and see if you can get it for less.
Or do without.
(Photo courtesy JD Public)
Melissa and I calculated our total purchase price (minus rebates and selling used dishwashers) for dishwashers in eighteen years of marriage.
It was $100.
By being frugal for eighteen years, we were able to buy a new Bosch dishwasher.
And it has every feature and warranty we could think of.
I once read a powerful quote by Thomas S. Monson: Our most significant opportunities will be found in times of greatest difficulty.
Money-stress (having too little not too much) is difficult.
So what significant opportunities are found
within financial chaos?
1. An opportunity to forge stronger, more loving communication.
Couples can choose to compete or complete when finances fall apart.
Competing against each other by yelling is less effective. Completing involves lovingly helping your spouse look good by filling in where he/she is weak.
2. An opportunity to acknowledge Providence as the provider of every enjoyment. Prosperity follows gratitude and prosperity comes from Divine Providence.
3. An opportunity to ask for help. Many of your friends and family (and even strangers) want to lift you up. Let them. It helps them feel great.
When the difficulties come, remember the opportunities are in the same gift-wrap.
(Original post "Springboards" from 2013, Photo courtesy Katorsi)
Posted at 12:53 PM | Permalink
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Yesterday morning my sister, Julie, was in town from New York.
We grabbed breakfast at Kneaders and enjoyed conversation while feasting on pieces of thick French Toast.
Julie's husband jokingly asked her (via text) if her "frugal brother" had bought breakfast.
It was an investment into one of my favorite persons--my sister.
Life consists of investing time and money into people who matter most to us.
Money hoarded in selfishness amplifies bitterness and discontent.
Go ahead. Spend money on relationships. It's even better than yummy French Toast.oast.
Paradoxical Intention explains that the very way to be blessed with money is to not chase it.
By focusing on things money can't buy (family, friends, peace), we (serendipitously) get money.
Of course we must follow basic wealth-building guidelines like paying as you go, living within your means, and working smart.
But we actually prevent wealth accumulation when we obsess about wealth.
Last week Melissa and I attended a wedding ceremony and reception for a long-time friend.
At the end of the day our friend thanked us for believing in him and not giving up.
Although he had struggled for about ten years, it felt small (to him and us) in comparison to his current happiness.
Over the last few weeks I have cried and laughed with immense joy as I've thought of his changed nature.
(Photo courtesy Shantanu Kuveskar)
Seeing only one way to use an object is Functional Fixedness.
Posted at 02:39 PM | Permalink
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Nourish is a simple yet powerful word. To promote the growth of anything is vital and rewarding. But it takes time to grow anything.
Teachers in elementary school gave my classmates and I tiny trees for Arbor Day. After taking my little tree home I planted it and quickly forgot about it. I didn't take time to nourish my Pine Tree. I thought it would grow quickly without any effort. Of course my tree never thrived.
This same lack of nourishment abounds in many families. Daily, prospective nurturing is missing in many marriages. With some parents, it's missing with child-rearing. It's missing with savings and debt-reduction. A nourishment mindset is lacking in investing if our purpose is quick, no effort results with an unproven investor. Quick fixes or abandonment often attempt to fill the void left by a lack of nourishment.
Divorce, bankruptcies, excessive credit card debt, lotteries, and payday-loans are often the manifestations of neglected nourishment.
The good news is that most families have a mature tree (i.e. income, marriage, children)-- they simply need to nourish their tree to help it thrive. We don't need to create a new tree, we simply need to nourish it. Watering and sunlight will revive most trees. And unconditional love and time together will heal most marriages. Most financial situations rejuvenate with a budget and a little self-discipline. Most children thrive with freedom and the guidance of correct principles.
It's an attractive idea to plant new trees (e.g. get a new spouse, trade your children, or find a new job), but it is far easier and more rewarding to nourish our current trees.
(Photo courtesy Victor Grigas)
An overweight person may focus on toning calf muscles or she may focus on toning biceps. But for best results ab toning typically makes the greatest visual impact.
Same goes for Chess. You can choose to move one of several pieces, but what is the best one to move next? What move will offer the greatest return on investment (ROI)?
With hundreds of frugal choices to choose from, which choice offers the best ROI for you?
(Photo courtesy Alan Light)
Marriage is symmetrical. Husbands need a complimentary wife. Wives need a complementary husband. Marriage partners are not identical, but complimentary.
An impetuous spouse needs a cautious spouse to prevent overspending.
Analytical spouses need emotional spouses to add variety to their marriage.
Symmetry isn't sameness--it's better. Symmetry is the ultimate form of teamwork. It's celebrating the differences in spouses because their differences make us better.
(Photo courtesy Wikipedia)
Posted at 08:42 PM | Permalink
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Charles Schulz was legendary, funny and inspirational.
One little known fact is that he kept about 6-8 weeks ahead of the publication schedule.
What would happen to your relationships if you were prepared, really prepared weeks and months before "showtime?"
Have you rehearsed your schedule and significant events with your spouse?
Do you prepare/plan/organize with your partner weekly and daily?
Many couples simply appear at Carnegie Hall without having practiced together.
Then when things go wrong, they lament.
It makes life smoother.
(Photo courtesy Neelix)
About eleven years ago I was given the opportunity to lead a group of approximately 500 neighbors.
I was new in the area and I knew very few people.
During the first few months of my assignment, I felt scrutinized and anxious.
Everyone seemed to know me, but I recognized very few people.
Oftentimes I would eat, shop and play 10-15 minutes away from my neighborhood so I wouldn't need to interact with local, un-familar people.
My incognito disguise was a hat (pulled down) and dark sun-glasses.
Then one day I was eating at Applebee's with my wife when a man and his wife approached us.
I had no clue who they were, but they knew us. And they were so happy and nice to us. They were from our neighborhood.
It wasn't long after that, I decided to forget about me. I began to focus on my neighbors and their needs.
I dropped my disguise and embraced the new situation.
Yet, even now I have to remember my life (words, actions, behavior) is not a selfish, incognito pursuit.
Life is about selflessly lifting others. It's about windows, not mirrors. It's looking outward, not inward.
It's about removing the hat and glasses.
The phone call last week was unexpected.
Years ago, I tried to help a friend with a difficult choice. But it appeared that he (and me) had failed.
Or so I thought.
Sure, everything didn't work out the way either of us wanted, but he didn't permanently fail.
And in fact the phone call helped me see that he was progressing well. He invited me to his wedding.
His (long-ago) mishap reminded me of George Washington during the Revolutionary War (defeat after defeat in many battles, but win the war with mercy, work and luck).
And then yesterday another friend who failed (don't we all?) wrote to tell me about his progress. He too is getting married (re-maried actually).
Getting knocked off our feet is a regular occurrence for most of us.
Showtime is when we stand up again and begin more intelligently.
(Photo courtesy George Bellows)
*I was finishing a call in seat 22 on a flight from Jacksonville to Dallas when a lady tried to squeeze in next to me.
Her Michael Kors bag bumped me as she took the middle seat. I sat looking out the window glued to my phone.
Rather quickly her jovial, boisterous personality caught my attention.
After finishing my call, we talked about fitness, family and faith. After three hours of talking I told her that this blog post would be for her.
She wants to stay married and live happily ever after, but marriage has turned into a nightmare of abuse and disrespect.
She is considering divorce.
I told her this life is for joy and happiness and marriage is meant to last forever.
She told me that she believes couples who pray together stay together.
As we talked, I thought of my Mom's and Dad's advice about tough times.
My mom teaches the importance of holding on when you come to the end of your rope.
My Dad teaches "the sun often shines brightest after a dark storm."
I don't know how her story will end, but I hope she will study, think, pray and then do what is right.
(*The first version of this was published by me a few years ago)
My friend Harold died in 2013. I have written about him a few times.
He passed away within 18 months of his cancer diagnosis.
I literally watched him lose over thirty pounds and shrink five inches in twelve months.
He always asked me how I was doing and if there was anything he could do for me.
He worked hard and smart. And he never bragged about his career choice (physician).
His life looked like this:
His hard work helped him retire early. Then he began to help people to a greater extent by donating several hours of his time each week.
When he died, many people wrote and spoke of his impact and legacy.
Harold did so much to help others, but he didn't prepare his wife for life without him.
His wife had never been involved much with finances.
So when he passed away she felt helpless as she navigated a new world of money management.
Health problems ravish everyone at some point. And early death can happen to anyone.
Are you preparing yourself and your spouse for a health crisis? Or maybe even an early death?
Melissa loves to enter drawings.
A few weeks ago she put my business card in a drawing for a free (25$ value) Frozen yogurt cake.
We won and it will be one of our Easter gifts to our children.
Enter many, win a few.
Oh, and at a recent home show she won a garage door opener ($350 value).
Marriages built on convenience and ease rarely last.
Contrastingly, committed couples often stay happily married.
Convenient or commitment?
When Björn Borg was a young tennis player he once had a fit after losing a match.
His outburst prompted his mom to confiscate his racket for a month.*
He determined (committed to himself) to never allow his temper to control him again.
He later became the best rated player in the world while never losing his cool.
A less emotionally committed person was John McEnroe.
Throwing rackets, yelling and verbally bullying line-judges evidenced his lack of commitment to emotional mastery.
Commitment, a determination to do the right thing and to control emotions, was the watchword for Borg (and apparently his mother too).
Is your relationship predicated on ease or commitment?
(Photo courtesy Anefo)
(*HT Ted R. Callister)
Posted at 04:34 PM | Permalink
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When conversation turns crucial, what do you do?
Fight, attacking the person you love?
Fight, attacking the problem instead of your partner?
Flee, leaving the person you love?
Have you tried flow?
Flow is moving/adjusting with your problems.
It's like a surfer who stays on top of undulating waves.
(Oftentimes) we don't need fight or fight.
Don't leave the ocean. Don't curse the waves.
Get in the Ocean. Embrace the waves. Self-adjust.
Like a surfer.
(Photo courtesy Wikipedia)
About eight years ago I took a costly, time-intensive class to help me pass a very difficult financial test.
I had failed the test once and needed the license to keep my newly acquired Allstate office.
So when I took a class from a very wise man, I was ready to learn.
During one of the many breaks our instructor explained why breaks are nescesry in the learning process.
He explained humans are like a shipping box.
Before and after inserting an item to be shipped, it's necessary to use bubble wrap to cushion the package, or the item will break.
Without cushioning an item can become too hot, too cold or break from too much pressure.
Similarly, we shouldn't be crammed with too much. We need space to expand and maintain a moderate temperature.
Life is full of marathons and sprints. The key is to stop often. Don't just keep running.
Occasionally walk. Stop frequently. Run occasionally.
I took his advice and passed the test.
Years later I still try to find time to rest, to "cushion" what I ship.
My favorite ways to rest from too much are:
What's your bubble wrap? Are you trying to pop it?*
(*Did you know they now make un-poppable bubble wrap?)
Posted at 02:50 PM | Permalink
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A year ago Melissa and I learned about a Solar panel company.
We met with a few salespersons about getting some panels installed, read some reviews and then decided to wait a few months.
We eventually studied more about the company and even reviewed a few other companies.
Then we decided to accept their offer of a $1,000 end-of-year-sign-up bonus.
Nearly 365 days of dabbling, deliberation and finally a decision.
Now it's done.
Do and then deliberate. That's called buyer's remorse.
Dabble, Dabble, and dabble some more. That's called indecision.
Never do. That's called dreaming.
Bargains are found by dabbling, deliberating, deciding and doing.
I recently had a very tough, almost depressing, budgeting session.
A lady met with me to get a hold on her finances, but she seemed more interested in excuses than making and keeping money.
At one point I suggested a used car might be good for her since her housing is currently 100% of her budget, her income is low and she recently declared bankruptcy.
Her reply? "It is used."
Her car is a 2013 model. And she pays about $350 per month.
I explained that used (to me) means about 10 years old and with no loan--especially since she just declared bankruptcy a few months ago.
She countered, "My bankruptcy lawyer told me it would be a good idea to buy the car to improve my credit."
This lady is not only broke, but she is mentally poor. She accepts unproven, false theories from the uninformed.
I explained that she is the only one who can change her financial fate.
I was 17 when I attended a youth conference near Ephraim, Utah.
The Dream Team was playing that Summer and for some reason I chose to be in a canyon with several other friends instead of watching hoops.
During the youth conference we each had an opportunity to conquer "the Eagle's Nest."
The Eagle's Nest was a platform perhaps 15 feet off the ground from which a person was supposed to horizontally jump off and simultaneously grab a rod....without letting go.
Out of perhaps 120 youth, only 3-4 accomplished the feat.
I studied the successful ones. And the failed attempts. I prayed, planned and visualized succeeding.
Finally I did it. I dared. I jumped. I held-on.
And the wind beneath my wings carried me.
The victory wasn't mine alone.
Later in life I would jump into an MBA, a new blog, and into learning crazy languages or trying to help people.
Now, where's the next Eagle's Nest?
It's time to dare (and jump) again!
(Photo courtesy Vtornet)
*I was about 12 years old and looking for money when a friend of mine asked me to help him load and put up hay in Palmyra, New York. I didn't know the hay fields would reach 90-100 degrees.
And I certainly didn't expect the haymow to exceed 110 degrees. But it did. And with New York humidity, I felt like I had discovered Hades.
Gratefully my friend, who worked along side me, would occasionally suggest a refreshing drink from an old hand pump well.
He taught me how to prime the pump (use some water and pump the handle several times) so the well would give us cool, refreshing water.
Saving money is a lot like priming a pump.
Prime a pump with water, and much more water comes out.
Save a little money and the result is much more money.
But saving should be regular just like priming a pump demands consistency.
Why does saving money produce more money?
1. Security. Money stored away gives incredible confidence and peace. Confident and peaceful people make better financial (and relational) decisions.
2. Good deals. Bargains happen with cash. Many cash-rich businesses acquire other businesses for pennies on the dollar because they had money on hand (retained earnings).
It's hard for a seller to resist the lure of a wad of cash. Often they will reduce the price by 25%-50% if they see cash.
Regrettably some people prime the savings pump for a few days or weeks but don't pump long enough to see any true results.
Start saving now even if it is only a few dollars.
Then enjoy a refreshing glass of water in your hot financial haymow.
(Photo courtesy Jud McCranie)
*Original post was entitled Priming The Pump from 2012 archives)
(One time I feinted with heat exhaustion in the hay mow and had to be taken home for the day)
M. Scott Peck in his classic book The Road Less Traveled taught a powerful concept, "...life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived."
Mechanics fix things. Detectives discover mysteries.
A mechanic controls things, thereby obtaining a perfect outcome.
But relationships involve people who can't (and shouldn't) be controlled.
Detectives explore, allow for chance and volition and eventually find an outcome.
Detectives work with people. Mechanics work with things.
Top Gear or Scooby-Doo?
Cooter or Nancy Drew?
The Fonz or Sherlock?
B. A. Baracus or The Hardy Boys?
Too often I have tried to fix people and events to get my desired outcome.
Detectives discover an outcome, they don't try to go about 'fixin' everything and everyone.
Be a mechanic, fix your problems. And be a detective, exploring, discovering life with those you love.
Creators like Einstein are fascinating.
Doers like Churchill seem magnificent.
So for most of my life, when I (erroneously) thought of patience as passively waiting, I cringed with distain.
I wanted to do it now. I wanted progress now!
Then I learned that patience is working while waiting. Patience is a process. Patience is not knowing the ending but enjoying the journey and the uncertainty.
Patience is recognizing that termination points, style and substance are up to God, and I'm not Him.
A wise person once said*, "Patience is a purifying process."
I say patience is a purifying process, not a terrifying process.
Patience is fundamental to great relationships and living abundantly.
(*see Continue In Patience)
(Photo courtesy John Morgan )
Posted at 02:01 PM | Permalink
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It was then, I realized I was impatient, selfish, and a poor provider. I needed to become much better.
Thankfully there are many wonderful parents who showed me and my wife how to be excellent.
Excellent parents go on dates with their children. Wonderful parents play with her children.
Impactful parents love their children and listen to their children.
Long-lasting parents ask questions and talk with her children.
They work alongside their children and worship with their children.
Successful parents invest time and money, prayers, effort, emotions and everything they possibly have into being a better person.
Legacy leaving parents establish a better relationship with their spouse and thereby bless their children.
Raise your example, then raise your children.
Reinvention and innovation are two words rarely associated with family.
Automobile manufacturers often talked of innovation in the 1980's as they sought to compete with Honda and Toyota.
And business thought leaders such as Clayton Christensen talk of disruptive innovation.
In family the tendency is to push others to change. Parents often push children to become smarter, stronger, and more emotionally adept.
But how often do we focus on creating a brand-new self? How often do we innovate?
Pushing ones-self to be better and do new things, becoming a new person, is what life is about.
The more we become, the more we can give.
A former factory worker, recently took up cooking, piano playing and computers!
He is innovating and reinventing in his late 60's.
Do you need to become a new person? Learn a new skill?
(Photo courtesy Megapixie)
Those who pursue an ideal (ideal=growing, not flawless) marriage often feel like they are pushing against a boulder. No progress, just exertion.
But perhaps most important is what we become in the process of pursuing the ideal marriage, not whether we are progressing (or even obtaining).
Muscles of patience, kindness, gentleness, persuasion, and level-headedness become massive under the strenuous work required to achieve a lasting, legacy-rich marriage.
But it's worth it. Ask Melissa.
Tomorrow Melissa and I celebrate 18 years of marriage. And who we've become in 18 years or marriage is far better than where we began!
(Photo courtesy localfitness.com)
A few days ago I was struggling with a massive tension headache.
My neck felt tight and I felt miserable.
I have had many tension headaches and have tried multiple remedies (massage, Tiger Balm, Aspirin, weight training, diet, naps, aerobics)
After Melissa rubbed my neck, it felt better.
Yet it still was stiff.
And then my sister-in-law taught me about a 'reset'.
She explained that my neck simply needed a 'reset' back to its natural form.
She showed me a three-part massage technique lasting 54 seconds.
That got me thinking about using 'resets' in a few areas.
Time away from social media
Immersion into sacred, divine writings
Communication with our Heavenly Father
Regular time as a family to play, work and laugh
Frequent planning meetings to anticipate challenges and implement dream
What's giving you a 'headache'?
What can you do this week to 'reset' a struggling area in your life?
(Photo courtesy Shanghai killer whale)
Posted at 05:45 PM | Permalink
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Well we don't really have a new baby, but our new-to-us Toyota Sequoia is here!
And Melissa loves it. And I love it too, especially because we paid 1/4 of what it would cost new.
Over seven months ago Melissa and I began to discuss replacing our vehicle as we needed to replace our Honda Odyssey (227,000 miles and a slipping transmission).
We looked at Honda Pilots, Toyota Highlanders, GMC Yukons, and a few other larger SUVs.
We checked Edmonds, Consumer Reports and we talked with several friends and relatives to discover what would be best for our family.
We discovered core values for Melissa (roominess, heated seats) and core values for Ryan (fast, 4x4, sun-roof).
Then when we bought it, we rejoiced in having made a united, allied decision.
(Photo courtesy Wikipedia-our Sequoia is a little older, but similar color and design)
Meteorologists are famously wrong.
Often their predictions are far from accurate.
Nevertheless they continue to attempt to control the weather.
We can learn much from weathermen attempting to control the temperature.
26 year-old Cam Newton became agitated and heated after losing the Super Bowl.
He failed to control his temperature.
A 39 year-old, Peyton Manning (with 4 Super Bowl appearances and 2 wins) seems to be the master of cool emotions.
And Kobe Bryant admitted he was too "hot" when he first entered the NBA.
Now nearly 20 years later, Kobe says the Spurs (think Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Popovich with their stoic demeanor) taught him to be "cool" and calm.
Now more than ever we need to choose cool and collected.
My first blush with massive turbulence was on an airplane flying over Orlando.
The plane dropped so fast that a stewardess dropped a beverage on a sleeping man. She had accidentally spilt his drink.
He abruptly woke up and yelled at her until he figured out what happened.
Recently Melissa taught me that OPS or Optimal Penetration Speed is the perfect speed at which turbulence is minimized.
It's like Goldilocks-speed, not too fast and not too slow.
OPS is vital for...
Varying your speed is what OPS is about. It's choosing the right speed for the airflow and pressure to work with and not against a plane.
Fast. Slow. Pause. Go.
Adjust your speed so turbulence becomes a boon, not a burden.
(Photo courtesy Chris Olsen)
Posted at 05:36 PM | Permalink
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A friend fixed his wife's car. It took him eight hours, but prevented them from spending several hundred dollars at the repair shop.
The best part is, he expressed his love by investing time into her concerns.
Is this conversation crucial?
Did I choose convenience or commitment when I get married?
Am I willing to work on myself to ensure a better relationship?
Do I need more money or more control of my money?
Does my money tell me what to do or do I tell my money where to go?
Is my marriage like a microwave or a crockpot?
How many date nights should a thriving couple have?
What are my top priorities?
Are children more important than my spouse?
Who do I need to become to be trusted?
Do I regularly practice forgiveness?
Do I lack time? Or do I need to prioritize?
What is the opposite of go?
It could be stop. Or maybe pause.
Jordan paused basketball when he took up baseball.
He came back and won three championships.
The Titanic refused to pause when every other ship in the Atlantic paused for the night.
Then at midnight it was forced to pause forever.
Wise parents pause when their children misbehave.
Excellent spouses pause to learn more about a partners' needs/wants.
Posted at 05:23 PM | Permalink
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I first learned about Urban Meyer when he led the University of Utah to a perfect football season in 2004. He later coached Florida State and Ohio to National Championships.
So when he published a book a few months back, I was excited to learn about his remarkable leadership skills.
It's one thing to be a winner with one organization, but to take three separate teams to championships and undefeated seasons in your first few years is legendary.
In his book, Above The Line, Coach Meyer teaches several excellent truths.
One such truth is his formula for responsibility: ERO.
We often don't control events nor outcomes, but we certainly control our response.
Meyer explained that one of his back-up quarterbacks became a true leader the moment he proactively took blame for a bad decision.
I have been following Afford Anything, a personal finance blog, for about two years.
And yesterday I read this post that resonated with me.
Complex cost-saving measures (optimizing) saps life; Simplification allows room for relationships.
I like how Paula focuses on using energy to enjoy time, money and life.
Cheap people tend to cling to pennies; frugal people cling to others.
(Photo courtesy Nikostrat)
Posted at 05:15 PM | Permalink
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